Relationships - timing is everything

Something pivotal to remember to every relationship is timing is everything. Literally, if your life paths are not meant to cross at that moment in time, you will pay dearly trying otherwise. However, I think certainly that sometimes we are meant to work through struggles in the fight to be together, regardless of the outcome. Besides our own personal growth, often we are teaching society a thing or two.

Immediately what comes to mind is my first meaningful, loving relationship. You may have already heard me mention in another article how he just re-entered my life through an online reunion. You see, we were star crossed from the beginning, for he was a dark skinned black boy, and I was a pale, freckled white girl in a Southern small town America during the early 90s.

However, it isn't just a story about race, but one of humanity. You see, I was being degraded and humiliated throughout an entire school year. It was intolerable at first, until one day, I felt a tap on my shoulder during a long, droning lecture of Government & Economics. I looked & saw nothing. Then suddenly - lightly -- came the tap on the opposing shoulder. A swift turn left leaves me with nothing, but a steep side glance to my right yields a hand shaped into a cutesy critter, a finger waggling, reaching upward as if to glance. Fingertip bobbing, as if contemplating what it saw.

All the while walking to classes alone was torturous as all sorts of hideous taunts would bounce off the walls. Teachers stood by smirking in their doorways, as if left with a mystery they thought they'd solved. Then came the notes. The 3 tiniest words giving huge meaning to such a dark, constrictive world: i want u.

Then, oddly, just as the harassment at school began to wane ever so slightly, the torrent at home ignited into full-on war. My family was so determined to keep us separated that I wasn't even allowed to watch MTV or listen to rap music, as they saw that as a bad influence. They had staff instructed to keep us apart. He never turned his back on me once.

The following year, my parents transfer me to a different school. We attempt to continue seeing each other for a while, but it is virtually impossible as it seemed my parents had eyes and ears everywhere. We got on the phone, and decided that we were making our lives too hard on ourselves. We joked that perhaps in our 30s we could meet back up again. I laughed and remarked how that'd have to be "by the grace of God."

We didn't see or hear of each other again until 2 years ago during a hometown Christmas parade. I was passing out coupons for a local delivery store, and happened to look up once throughout the entire distribution -- and there he was. Completely overwhelmed, and embarrassed by my uniform, after bursting forth a giant "Hey!" kept making my way through the crowd.

Then last week, out of nowhere, he adds me as a friend on a social network. I'm beyond elated, I'm literally flabbergasted. "Gobsmacked" as Susan Boyle would put it. As we chat incessantly, he tells me he's involved with someone. This actually saddens me, because as I see my marriage having fell apart over the last several years, I'm thinking for once, we have nothing standing in our way.

Then I realize, when given too much too soon, we begin creating our own obstacles. It is that from which we have prepared for, that allows us to have something left over to give of ourselves.